Love Letter: How To Find “The One” (3/16/22)

Ok, that subject line is a little bit of a bait and switch… I’m here to tell you that the search for “the one” is a trap. Please stop this rhetoric. If you’ve listened to The New Truth podcast for some time, then you know how I feel about this bs we’ve all been fed – Kate and I dedicated a wholeeee episode to this very subject. 

I get it – the search. We’ve been conditioned for quite a long time in our culture that “the one” exists. This doesn’t mean that you don’t get to have an aligned, monogamous partner if that’s what you want. 

It DOES mean we need to release the idea of “the one” so we can embrace the truths of what it means to be in a long-term relationship and for many of us, we will have many significant relationships over the course of our lives. 

Your midweek mantra is, “Love doesn’t exist outside of me. I am love.” ✨

I hate to break this to you, but there is no “one” perfect person for you. 

Also, there is NO SUCH THING as a perfect person!

If you want a committed, monogamous partnership, there will be the person you choose and the person who chooses you. 

Even when you choose well and choose from alignment, you will not be without disappointment, disagreements, sometimes disconnection, and the ebbs and flows of a real relationship. 

When we look for “the one,” we look for a magical, unaccountable choice as if there is a “perfect” person for us, and we will just magically know how to be IN a relationship with “the one.” 

We abdicate all responsibility for how we show up relationally in this search as well – as if we don’t need to grow and learn:

✔️ communication skills

✔️ boundaries

✔️ managing our own triggers

✔️ emotional mastery

✔️ and how to let love breathe

Stop searching for “the one” and become the person you’re proud to be, and let love lead your love life.

You don’t search for “the one,” you become the one. [one pink heart with blue arrow emoji]

I know I’ve said this before, but water seeks its own level. So if you’re looking for an epic partner and future teammate who knows how to take care of themselves and has a wide base of support? You have to first become that partner in order to attract that partner. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “What gets in the way of the love life you desire and deserve.” Whether you are single or in a relationship (and if you keep feeling dissatisfied or disappointed in your love life), this episode is for you. We reveal the core ways you might be preventing yourself from having the experience you want in dating or partnership.

I love you,