Love Letter: Love is Not Enough (3/23/22)

We have never been taught how to choose a partner, only how to chase a feeling. 

Thanks to movies, TV shows, and media we think how we feel with someone is all we need to build a great relationship. There are a few difficult truths that need to be accepted in order to have an extraordinary partnership and #1 is Love is Not Enough. 

Your midweek mantra is, “Alignment is when my head, heart, and intuition are a YES to who and what is right for me.” ✨

How people feel about each other is not nearly enough to create an extraordinary relationship. 

Great relationships require effort, intention, skill, and a ton of self-awareness. 

They require accountability and empathy; assertive communication; and the awareness that our partner is a whole person unto themselves, and we won’t always agree, but we can always be respectful. 

Great relationships are also made up of shared values and a shared vision of the relationship. 

Lots of people are swept in a feeling (re: The Tinder Swindler) or move way too fast in relationships solely based on how they feel about each other or sometimes just because they so desperately want a relationship. 

When we are caught in chasing a feeling, we overlook things like big glaring red flags or even how someone treats us because the temporary “feel good” of attention is better than nothing. 

You deserve to be adored, not just paid attention to every once in a while.

The desire for a relationship is pure, but let the desire be for a GREAT relationship. Great relationships are MADE. 

They require effort and intention every day, not just when it’s easy, like when you have an abundance of chemicals flowing through your body in the early stages of dating. 

They require respect, admiration, and care for the other person as well as care for ourselves. 

The greatest news of all is that no matter what our history has been, we can change, heal, and choose differently in our relationships. We can empower ourselves to date from a healthy place, and even if it feels like your partnership is no longer solid, you can create solidity again. 

I believe healthy relationships will contribute to the healing of our world. We are happier and healthier with the right person. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “Lies and truths about sex and dating.” We challenge all the confusing dating advice out there about timing and rules around sex and dating in this spicy episode. We’re helping you get clear on what’s true for you, so you can date from an empowered place.

Here’s to healthy love,