Love Letter: Why “love is blind” is BS (5/4/22)

Hello May! 

In today’s Love Letter, we’re talking about “Love is Blind” – not the TV show – but this sentiment that we often hear about relationships. 

I spent the weekend in Boston with family and friends, celebrating my baby shower. I had such a beautiful time and reflected a lot on who my husband and I are right now as we prepare to welcome this child into our lives. 

I knew who I was marrying when I walked down the aisle. I did NOT know what life would bring, but I knew the character of my husband, I knew his flaws, and he knew mine. A lot of people blindly enter relationship, resting on “hope” or “wish” or a “good feeling” rather than being willing to see clearly the fullness of who the person is in front of them. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I am willing to see with clear eyes. I am willing to ask the hard questions. I am willing to be imperfect.”✨

We often hear the phrase “love is blind” to try and understand how people fall in love with the wrong person. It becomes this cute phrase to justify why we can’t let go of the person who hurt us or why we ignore red flags.  

“Love is blind” implies that we turn AWAY from flaws, imperfections, and sometimes red flags. 

When we are in healthy love, we see clearly the fullness of who someone is. We’ve had the hard conversations, we’ve had enough time to see all shades of someone, we can say to ourselves – I really embrace who this person is. 

There is nothing romantic about the statement “love is blind.” 

Here are some tough-love truths:

🚩 whatever people are unwilling to address at the beginning of a relationship will be why it ends

🚩 whatever red flags are ignored will be the reason you fight or feel unfulfilled

🚩 whatever perfection you’ve projected onto someone will be the reason you’re disappointed down the line

Everyone is imperfect. We all have flaws. 

Vulnerability creates real intimacy, and it takes TIME to know all there is to know about someone. 

There is undoubtedly an art to getting to know someone, too. 

Having the courage to ask difficult questions or naming your needs right at the beginning sets the foundation for a solid partnership. 

It takes courage to do the work to be available for healthy love, and most of all, to embrace your imperfections and flaws and know that you are still lovable. 

The best partnerships are people who love, respect, and admire each other – they aren’t pretending to be perfect or pretending to be someone they are not. We relax into love when we see with clear eyes. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “The Real Reason Dating is Frustrating.” In this episode, we unpack why you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated with dating. Listen to find out if you’re impacted by the number one behavior contributing to dating frustration. We’re teaching you how to set yourself free, so you can date with ease, pleasure, and fun!

I love you,