Love Letter: Loneliness isn’t a bad thing (6/15/22)

Let’s get right to the point, shall we? 

Loneliness is part of being human. It’s happening more and more as a result of our isolation from COVID and the lack of depth, meaning, and spiritual connection so many people are missing in their life. The biggest problem is not that we are lonely; the problem is that we think it’ll be SOLVED by a romantic relationship. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I am learning to be a good friend to myself, and I choose good friendships in my life with people who really see and love me.” ✨

I’m sure you probably know this to be true, but I think you’d be surprised at just how many people are even more lonely IN a relationship than they are without one. 

I certainly felt more lonely in my last relationship than I ever did when I was single. 

We need to transform the idea that a partner “solves” the loneliness problem. 

Loneliness is a part of being human AND what is needed is a deep connection to self, spiritual life, and other people. 

Someone doesn’t have to live in such a way that they are always lonely. If you are feeling lonely all of the time, that is a sign that you are a) disconnected from yourself and b) don’t have enough people in your life that you are connected with. 

Belonging is a core need of being human, and our culture around romance makes it seem like a romantic partner is the “be all, end all” of saving us from being human. 

The best relationships thrive when each person is connected to themselves as individuals as well as COMMUNITY in their life. 

Intimacy is being seen, known, and understood, and we need this experience in several areas of our lives, not just one person. 

We heal through our friendships, community, service, and most of all, through connecting to deeper meaning in our lives. 

ASK YOURSELF:

How many people in your life do you feel safe being yourself with? 

How many people in your life are you revealing all that you are? 

How many people in your life do you know really love you? List them out!

We are nurtured, healed, and nourished by friendship. 

So many women ache for a relationship but don’t know who they are or how to be connected to another. 

Whether you’ve walked the path of Homecoming or not, I want to tell you that I am grateful for this community of women dedicated to living with an open heart – you all impress me with your commitment to yourself and each other. 

I am also grateful for my inner circle of friends who really get me (and love me for me!), and of course, my clients who share their hearts with me each week that open themselves to intimacy. 

I hope you choose to walk the journey of returning to yourself and stop giving your power away. You are enough, you matter, and you’re worthy of the love and care you give to everyone else.

Love,

P.S. I was recently interviewed on the podcast “Rooted Souls” with Becca Speert, and we talked about “The Spiritual Purpose of Relationships.” SO perfect in alignment with the topic of this week’s love letter. We talked about codependency, love addiction, twin flame relationships, and the cultural conditioning that leads to relationship confusion. I talk about the importance of having a spiritual life so that we don’t make our partner our “higher power” or “God” and instead create “heaven on Earth” through our relationships. Check it out here, and let me know what you think!!