Love Letter: Let’s Ditch Disappointment (7/27/22)
Good evening lovers! Today’s Love Letter topic is INCREDIBLY important to me because, over the past decade, I have helped women transform their dating disappointment. For 10+ years, I have listened to the chronic disappointment cycle that plagues so many women around dating, and I want you to know it does NOT have to be like this. Keep reading for exactly how to change it!
Your midweek mantra is, “I embrace reality and release my attachment to outcomes. In doing so, I enjoy my life so much more!”✨
I know the disappointment can be VERY real when it comes to dating, as I’ve heard it from clients time and time again, until they master this practice: low expectations, high standards.
Please know the difference.
A STANDARD concerns your boundaries and what kind of behavior you’ll tolerate.
An expectation is an attachment and a DEMAND for others to behave as you want them to.
Lowering your expectations is not about lowering your standards. This is about coming to terms with the fact that MOST people (like 90%) are not going to be a match for you!
It’s about not getting swept in hope and expectations when you meet someone (even if you’re excited about them!) and remaining centered in your heart and open to whatever occurs.
A great first date? Cool. You’ll see them again and see what happens next. You won’t dream about your wedding day or introducing them to your friends; you’ll remain centered as you open to a second date.
A bad first date? Cool. You won’t ever see that person again, and a bad first date doesn’t mean ANYTHING about your future toward finding a partner.
This is a dangerous place. When we have high expectations, EVERYTHING feels like a disappointment, and you victimize yourself when things don’t work out (or the guy doesn’t call you back) versus going with the flow and recognizing this will happen on the journey to finding your person.
Having low expectations isn’t about being pessimistic. It’s about being centered in your heart.
The dating rollercoaster is often dictated by people getting way too excited (and going into fantasy) way too early.
The dating disappointment sets in when you are filled with hopes and wishes based on ONE conversation with someone, rather than staying deeply rooted in yourself and open to what’s possible without getting HOOKED. This is TRUE openness.
Being open to Love…
❌ is not about being a doormat, going on dates with a million people, or forcing yourself to meet people where the attraction is missing
✅ is about practicing non-attachment, being RELAXED in your body and heart, and being willing to let someone show you who they are versus forcing a relationship to happen or demanding someone show up a certain way
✅ is recognizing that EVERY experience you have dating is bringing you CLOSER to your person and a learning experience
It’s way more fun letting people show you who they are without taking things personally and allowing your dating and relationship journey to unfold.
If you’ve got a lot of heaviness in your heart that you’re ready to let go of, sign up for my 9-module signature dating program, “Open to Love.” This is the only way to receive my work while I’m on maternity leave through September. This program will not only help you release expectations and disappointment, but it will also empower you to feel confident, free, and READY for the love you crave.
Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “The Truth About Getting Attached Too Quickly When Dating.” We explore early attachment, why so many women struggle with it, and how to stop it. This is the episode to learn how to go with the flow without being a doormat and never needing to give up on love.
I love you,
