Love Letter: How Well Do You Handle Conflict? (7/19/23)

Relationship skills are needed not just for romantic partnership but for EVERY kind of relationship! I continue to dream of a world where this is taught in schools and where we all have more compassion for ourselves as we choose to learn these skills.

It takes tremendous courage to be willing to do the deeper work around relationships, to heal and decide that no matter what has happened in the past your future will be different. 

It’s a myth that “happy couples don’t fight.” They actually do. What’s different is they know how to fight fair, fight respectfully and most of all REPAIR. 

If you are someone who has been “afraid of conflict” or just doesn’t like it… keep reading! 

Your midweek mantra is, “I can rest in my truth and respect someone else’s. I can handle all that I feel.”✨

Conflict resolution is a skill. 

The fairy tale has so many believe that all it takes is finding the “right person” to live happily ever after. 

I’ve been teaching and coaching relationship skills for over a decade now, and conflict resolution is a big one. 

Rooted in the fear of conflict is the fear of abandonment. Those that are afraid of abandonment often have no boundaries. 

Many believe that boundaries mean disconnection rather than boundaries keep love safe. 

Many fantasize that a perfect relationship means “no fighting” rather than a healthy relationship means we can fight and have disagreements without ever dropping below the line of disrespect.

It takes a lot of inner work to heal our self-protection mechanisms and instead choose loving and empowered behaviors. 

It also takes a lot of work to learn how to stay connected to OURSELVES and someone else at the same time. 

This is why the work BEFORE a relationship is actually preparing for it. Preparing for it has nothing to do with perfection and everything to do with knowing yourself and your values and cultivating the skills needed to make a relationship work. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week,  “Signs You’re Afraid of Intimacy.” Listen to this episode to hear us reveal the top behaviors in dating and relationships that block intimacy. If you are ready for deeply connected relationships, listen to discover what’s getting in the way.

I love you,