Love Letter: Sneaky Signs You’re Pushing Love Away (7/12/23)

It really is simple, not easy, but simple, to understand that everything is love or fear. 

We seek love but engage in so many fearful behaviors around it! 

For 11 years, I have helped women RECEIVE love. I’ve taught them how to heal and stop chasing love and instead focus on becoming receptive to what is meant for them. This is by no means a passive way of being! It takes a lot of courage to look at the ways we block love and push it away and choose to open our hearts instead. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I choose to let love in.”✨

Our fear makes so many of us do all kinds of wild and wacky things when it comes to relationships. 

Perfectionism is one of the biggest killers of attraction and connection. 

It is impossible to connect with someone who is always trying to be perfect, and it will be impossible to find a “perfect” person who “checks all the boxes” and shows up the way you think they should. 

Love is about imperfection, humanity, and the intimacy that occurs when people drop the masks they wear. 

Relationships are sought after like “goals,” and since we value “hard work,” we think only relationships in which I have to “work really hard” and “earn” love are the ones that are valued. 

We push people away by overgiving and over-functioning relationally. Vulnerability has nothing to do with sharing what we tell a therapist on a first date. 

Vulnerability is also about sharing who we are, what we love, what we are passionate about, what our deal breakers are, and what made us laugh recently. 

Emotional intimacy is what strengthens love, and if we judge, criticize, or avoid our feelings, then we won’t know if someone is safe enough to share our feelings with. 

We have to befriend ourselves first to let someone love us. 

We must be willing to be with our feelings to be present with others. 

Intimacy is the thing so many are seeking, and we need to practice it. 

I am excited to share that I will be offering group coaching again (in the fall!), for the woman who deeply craves intimacy and is aware of all of the ways she’s been pushing it away. 

Here’s what I’ve been dreaming up… 

Intimacy REQUIRES practice and we practice in the safety of a sisterhood to be well-resourced and ready for partnership. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, where Kate and I take on the popular question many women ask, “Should You Get Back Together with Your Ex?” If you are stuck in the on-again-off-again cycle, obsessed over your ex, and having a hard time moving on or moving forward – this episode is for you!

I love you,