Love Letter: The biggest lie about relationships (8/2/23)

If you’ve been with me for a while, you know my biggest problem with the fairytale is that it portrays love as something that happens TO you, something that’s effortless. 

The work of growing up in Love is the recognition that love happens THROUGH you and is actually something you have to actively participate in. 

Many people get addicted to the infatuation phase because it is seemingly effortless – but it’s addiction, not love. 

Love is what happens when we participate every day in the unfolding of a relationship. 

Your midweek mantra is, “Love is not something that happens to me but something that happens through me.”✨

“BUT I LOVE HIM” are four words I’ve heard women say as the reason they can’t let go. 

The yumminess of early attraction (and attachment) hooks so many people way too fast. 

Emotions are a powerful thing, I know. 

Our emotions are also only ONE part of what guides us in our relationship journey. 

Relationship skills are SEXY. 

Finding the person you can actually rely on and build a LIFE with is the magic of a relationship. 

I get that not everyone is looking for that, but that’s who I am here to serve. 

I’m here to serve the women who don’t quite know how to trust themselves in love, the women who struggle to trust who is good to them because of past heartbreak and trauma, and the women who struggle to set standards and raise the bar for the kind of people they let into their life. 

It’s important to acknowledge that our feelings will fluctuate in a relationship – it’s a myth that you’ll feel in love “all the time” in a long-term relationship. 

Great relationships are MADE, not “stumbled upon,” and how someone shows up at the beginning of the relationship tells you everything. 

I know it’s cliche, but seriously, believe them the first time. 

You can learn how to hold your emotions as sacred and recognize when they are clouding your eyes and having you ignore red flags. 

You can also learn how to choose the person who honors, respects, and empathizes with your emotions because that is what secure attachment is. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “How to Overcome the Fear of Never Finding Your Person.” In this potent episode, we reveal the practices and truths on how to stop being afraid you’ll never find your person. Listen to hear how this fear actually holds you back and what you can do instead to be open and available for love. 

I love you,