Love Letter: What’s the difference? Fairytale vs Real Love (9/13/23)

It’s such a devastating thing for me to watch so many people struggle in relationships when it doesn’t have to be that way. 

I love to work with women who are committed to changing the narrative around relationships and what they desire as they refuse to settle. 

Maybe you’ve heard me say it before, but the main thing the fairytale got wrong was teaching that the magic is in the other person versus that the magic is in us. 

You can still have magical love, but what makes it magical is the recognition that YOU are in charge of that magic! That you are the light that is ON or OFF, and your partner is not responsible for your happiness, your turn-on, or your open heart. 

It’s big work to be committed to oneself, and the main work in our lives is to be ourselves fully – no matter what the other person is doing. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I am the source of my happiness, well-being, and vitality.”✨

It’s important work to learn how to care for ourselves, nurture ourselves, and create happiness and peace in our lives. 

It’s also important work to learn to love who we are and know that it’s enough. 

There is the work of preparing for a relationship, and then there’s the work of being in a relationship. There is something that never changes – your happiness is your responsibility. 

Healthy partners want to add to one another’s happiness. 

They also want to be there when you’re struggling or having a hard time. 

They do NOT want to be the source of your happiness and life. 

Relationships thrive when the people in them are thriving. 

They also thrive when people in relationships know how to bring themselves to their partner from fullness rather than desperation, ache, or loneliness. 

I see people settle in relationships because they don’t know how to come alive on their own. 

I see people struggle in relationships because their whole world revolves around their partner, and they don’t know how to make a life on their own. 

We all need a healthy sense of self before entering a relationship because if there isn’t a healthy sense of self, I’m not sure who is being related to. 

The fairytale is cheap. Magic is real. 

The fairytale made us believe that happily ever after exists when we find the source of all our love and happiness, and had women believe that magic only exists with a partner. 

YOU ARE THE MAGIC. 

When you come ALIVE, that’s when you meet a fabulous partner. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “Why Being Nice is Holding You Back in Love.” Listen to hear us reveal the habits and behaviors of nice girls that keep deep and meaningful connections at bay. If you’re a self-identified people pleaser, self-sacrificer, or nice girl – this episode is for you!

I love you,