This matters most in dating and relationship

Hi love, 

I trust you are now living committed to a GROWTH mindset and found my last blog helpful. In case you missed it, you can read it here.

I want to share with you today what matters more than what you wear or what you say on a date or in relationship, and that is your energy. 

I am sure I don’t have to tell you we are living in a culture of STRESSED OUT ADULTS. Worst of all, I have so many women coming to me saying they want a relationship, but they are burnt out, exhausted, and overworked in their life often complaining about how they don’t even have TIME to date. I assure you, the problem is not about not having time. 

The problem is, we don’t make it important to actually HAVE energy. 

Our energy is not infinite, we are human beings that need sleep, good food, exercise and connection. YES connection. We need Love! We need love just as much as we need sleep and food and exercise but we often NEGLECT our most basic needs in the name of searching for Love. I know you already know how that works out, right? 

Imagine being on a date with a man who is complaining about how tired he is, how he doesn’t have time for things he loves, who doesn’t really look like he takes care of himself — would you really be psyched to hang out with him? Probably not. 

Most of the time when I’m working with couples and even in my own experience with Andrew, when someone is irritable, short or just picking fights long before I dive into what’s going on, I ask them how they’ve been taking care of themselves. Most of the time when Andrew and I get into it, we’re not actually upset with each other at all, we’re just TIRED. 

Now, commit with me to *STOP* saying “I don’t have time.” Because that is just NOT TRUE. NO ONE but you decides how you live your life and how you spend your time. 

You also don’t need to spend a TON OF TIME to take care of yourself. 

You can start making LITTLE shifts, each day. 

Learning how to care for yourself is an ESSENTIAL skill whether you’re dating or IN a relationship. Our partner can’t be our everything. We also want to choose a partnership that feels like a RENEWAL of energy rather than the person I just fall apart with. We commit to bring our BEST SELVES forward and that isn’t about being perfect, that’s about living DEVOTED to ourselves. 

When we are exhausted and stressed, we literally can’t THINK straight. We don’t have anything to truly offer someone when we are on empty. 

Wholeness and self worth is something we cultivate, every single day. 

We want you to have a beautiful clear mind when you’re dating so you are capable of spotting red flags, noticing how someone is really treating you, choosing vulnerability, and taking your time. 

Commit to this. Commit to feeling so, so good in your body, your heart, your mind and your soul. 

Dating IS preparation for partnership. 

EVERYTHING you learn for dating is in service to creating the most amazing romantic relationship and that ALWAYS includes taking care of you. 

People feel your energy first. 

When we feel whole inside, when we are full, we become much more willing to make empowered and loving choices in our lives. 

I love you,