What kind of relationship do you want?
Hi love,
Let’s cut right to the chase – living consciously is about living with CHOICE.
My healing journey first looked like thinking my life was already set for me. I knew there were cards I had been given and I had to play them.
I didn’t know I could choose a different game.
That’s where my healing began. Learning that I COULD heal. I COULD make new choices. I COULD have a different experience of life NOT as a result of people around me behaving differently.
The gift of relationship, and the hard truth because we’ve all been fed the fairytale lie, is that we can CHOOSE how WE want to show up in it, what boundaries WE want to set and what values WE hold. We get to decide what kind of relationship we want.
What kind do you want?
Here are the options :
1. A destructive relationship. One in which we spend all of our time being triggered by the other person because we are dependent on them, one in which we spend all of our time trying to get them to grow up, show up, do what we want them to do, or they are controlling us. Destructive is essentially about control.
2. A cocoon relationship. A relationship based on traditional gender roles and never rocking the boat. A relationship in which we suffer in silence, built on passivity and people pleasing, and never causing conflict. This is the silence destruction, but each person is more concerned with security (not losing the other) so they keep their secrets to themselves, their needs and dreams to themselves, always.
3. An awakened relationship. A relationship in which each person knows their inherent worth and value, each person is secure unto themselves and brings their whole selves to the partnership. They are safe but also committed to one another’s freedom. There are no threats to the relationship and they are committed to the truth. Committed to the work it takes to have an extraordinary relationship. Challenging every societal norm and rule both within themselves and their relationship. They are vulnerable and honest, accountable and empathetic, knowing those are the keys to lasting love.
Which one do you choose?
This is our path in our lives whether we have a partner or not. We are either choosing destruction (not working on ourselves), a cocoon (playing it safe and not taking risks or rocking the boat) or awakening.
This isn’t about good or bad or right or wrong because we are not better than less than anyone else.
We get to choose.
A destructive or cocoon relationship can absolutely become an Awakened one. If you have a history of destructive or cocoon relationships, you can learn to have an Awakened one.
But it starts with you.
I know it’s easy to say “I just need an awakened partner”, but turns out it ALL starts with you.
If you’re interested in moving on from codependency, transforming conditioned habits of behavior and learning to live Awakened Love, I would love to chat with you. Reply to this email and let’s see how I can help.
I love you.
