Love Letter: Real Love is Confronting AF (4/20/22)

This past weekend Andrew and I went to Charleston, SC, for a little babymoon! We had the best time together, reflecting on all that has happened in our lives, leading us to this point and who we are becoming. It’s easy to see photos of couples online and perceive that a moment in time somehow reflects the entirety of their relationship – it doesn’t. Every great relationship takes effort, intention, and courage.

It takes courage to love, let love in, and face our patterns and limiting beliefs about ourselves. It also takes courage to have hard conversations, and it takes courage to allow someone else to follow their own path and not fix, rescue, or control a partner. 

If you want real love, something has to shift inside of you, outside of the fairytale idea of “perfect” and into the practice of showing up every single day with courage, conviction, and compassion. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I choose courageous love, and I am willing to face myself.”✨

Real love is so confronting because you’ll be asked to believe the truth – the truth that you are worthy and deserving of Love. Let yourself be loved, cared for, seen, respected, supported, and celebrated can be very hard for those who haven’t known what that feels like.

With the real thing, we have to give up the stories of “not good enough” and “not worthy” and work EVERY DAY to receive the love that’s coming toward us and BE the love toward our partner. 

This is why a healthy partnership is so extraordinary; we get to heal the old narratives and pain and choose how we show up. 

Chasing unavailable people, pining after past lovers, and dating people who don’t challenge you are ways to stay safe in the old stories – reinforcing the limiting beliefs you have about yourself. Beliefs like you aren’t worthy, that a healthy relationship isn’t possible, or that you don’t deserve to be met.  

Finding love is an inside job, and it starts with us – how we see ourselves, carry ourselves in the world, and want to love. 

When love is safe, it’s full of grace. 

Lovers embrace imperfections and flaws, and each person must believe that they are enough. 

We practice seeing ourselves through our lover’s eyes when we are truly loved.  

Believe in your worth, value, beauty, and capacity to love and be loved. 

No matter what the story has been until now, you can choose a different narrative – that you do deserve the kind of partnership you’ve dreamed of, and it starts with being unwilling to chase, convince, fix, control, or try and “make” anyone love you. 

When you show up believing that you are lovable, you’ll meet the person who thinks so, too.

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “How to be more confident in your love life.” We unpack common misconceptions about confidence and what’s in the way of you having it in your love life.  We teach you how to cultivate unshakable and magnetic confidence – that will transform every area of your life, not just love. 

I love you,

P.S. If you are single, my 5-Day Dating Decoded Masterclass is available for $22. You have instant access to 5 videos to transform how you’ve gone about dating and learn the practices that make it fun, courageous and lead to a committed relationship. You can grab it here!